I would like to bring out all my personal experiences in this Blog. I am not a Doctor. If you have any issues or symptoms that I described here, I am not claiming that I am providing the correct strategy to resolve your issue. The issue may be or may not be always belong to anxiety. I strongly recommend you meet relevant Doctor when ever required.
I personally suffered from hyper anxiety through out my life so far and the main idea is to create awareness in the mankind about the symptoms I had and the techniques I have been using to come out of obsessions. This blog is not a medical or highly professional rather it describes the incidents happened that based on my anxiety (mainly OCD + may be others) I believe.
I express my feelings, understandings and beliefs here. I am not claiming these are accurate. The idea is to get some understanding of what is going on and meet the concerned Psychiatrist to get proper medication/therapy if one decided that is required.
First, OCD symptoms are present if one has chemical imbalance in his/her brain due to which one gets lot of obsessions. This has genetic link. At an average 1 in 40 people has the primitive form of OCD. If this is not severe, it can be manageable. Few people have severe OCD symptoms which require either medication or Therapy or both.
Are you finding too much interest or too much hate in some activities and you are getting the related thoughts again and again with out controlling? Then this might be a point of suspect..If you have too much interest on some activities like learning a subject and you are trying to by-heart the content with out putting good effort to understand this can be treated as a point of concern meaning this may not be causing distress for you but we need to check if you have lot of distress with the repeated thoughts that you hate in your brain. It is important to understand if you are understanding the concepts or just mugging up. Most of the times if you obsess to mug up and reproduce the content as exactly as it is rather than understanding and explain in your own way then this behavior needs to be examined properly by your psychiatrist.
The corner stones of this disease are Doubt and Guilt. I observed that I look for sympathy from the people for the issues I am facing. This is not correct but one should expect empathy from the others. The people with OCD must always say themselves that we can do anything in the life. We are ready to face any obstacles. Problems are common and we need to welcome when they come in our life and find the resolution with great confidence. We have to believe that we can act on the tasks as per priority, time, people, context, place to the extent we can but with immense concentration and confidence. We need to cultivate strong will power. Never be obsessive too much about any damn thought.
I think the people of hyper OCD waste at least 6 hr a day. That does not mean that they spend remaining time productively. This is because the concentration is poor and face cyclic logical thoughts and can take hasty decisions or delayed wrong decisions most of the times. When one is suffering with severe OCD, he/she can’t concentrate on the activities happening around because they spend most of their time and energy for obsessions and compulsions. Obviously they tend to show their frustration on family members, shouting loudly, scolding/beating the people close to them, lack the confidence, fear about any silly things, unable to express their love and affection on near and dears, moody, difficulty mixing with others in the society, missing their social lives. They can’t exhibit creativity and behave weird as their memory is occupied with thought cycles with fear. There are mainly two issues that they mainly face. The first one is they can’t enjoy with their partners and second one is they can’ t do their jobs well. The worst thing is they are not aware that their lifetime is being wasted till they receive the correct treatment. The main sufferers are immediate family i.e, partner and kids.
I advise the people with hyper anxiety not to drive the cars as there is high possibility of loosing concentration at any instant that may lead to accident. The OCD may lead to several side affects like itch, severe mucous, too much like, too much hate, eating disorder, breathlessness, lack of patience, difficulty in understanding what others are saying, wrong interpretation, lack of analysis, sudden reaction with out considering the situation into account, poor creativity etc. The people with OCD have strong beliefs and feelings who do not accept any kind of deviation. Their mind is not open to discuss any topic. Don’t think that the people with OCD do not have ethics. Most of them do not have individuality and always think that what other people think if we do certain activity. They forget to think about individual happiness and always strive for the admiration and recognition from others. They can’t say NO when required and lot of inhibitions. They maintain calm most of the time and suddenly over react. They may try to please every one every time. They behave as if they understand every thing. But they get only few points in the conversation and exhibit fast/rapid reaction. Most of the times the reaction may be wrong.
OCD runs through the families. It affects badly social living and family relationships. The love and affection of OCD person will be hidden and not explicitly visible on their close family members many a times. OCD folks always have fear about germs and lack of cleanliness of their hands and clean surely every time before they eat. Most of the times they fear to touch, fear to hear, fear to see, fear to speak any objects/images. Their thoughts sometimes revolve around any audio/video/image/phrase/word and suddenly stop progressing further. If they get severe fear about any of the above mentioned, it is necessary to accept that thought rather than trying to escape from the thought. For example, a person suffering with OCD get fear about some bad phrase thinking that he will say that wrong phrase by mistake in front of other people in the society. Sometimes, that person will do harm for others or self as it is specified in the phrase. If this person unable to control the fears and thoughts, it is very important to take the correct treatment from psychiatrist.
There is some surprising characteristic of this disorder. It will pull the person to do some activity like thinking many times about “what did I see there?” if he/she answers then “what exactly I see there? what every element in the picture is located?” once answered by person with OCD again the question like “what is the distance, area,volume between various elements in the picure?” then question like ” Is this something related to Sex/bad image?” and so on…It is not finite and keep queries coming on and on which cause lot of frustration for the person.
One litmus test about your anxiety is about your comfortable sitting during discussions/meetings with your friends and teachers etc. What is your initial sitting position? How it has been changed over some period of time (Are you sitting properly or did you move a lot from the comfortable seating position?) Remember that you need to explain in depth about your OCD characteristics to your Doctor(s) till you get the right treatment.
If a person seems to be over sensitive, it is important to check if he/she has OCD . The people with OCD behave generally as too sensitive persons in the public. if a person is thinking too much about any damn thing, unable to make decision in a reasonably sufficient amount of time for that thing and too rigid about his/her decision most of the times then there is a high chance that the corresponding person has OCD.
In my deep observation, it has been found that the people with sever OCD have laziness in the brain activity. These people want to learn, get, achieve the various mail stones. But their brain is too lazy to work. At that point of time, they by heart or mug up the tasks with force. Brain will not spent much time to analyze, understand the subject. That does not mean these people will not good at Math. These people will have very good left brain activity. They usually do math very well. But, poor creativity. The issue is with right brain. When the anxiety reduces, they spent some time for deep analysis and the creativity will be increased.